Do you ever stop to think about the way you do things, and sometimes question why you do things a certain way, or if you should have done something differently? I do – all the time. There are definitely things I wish I was better at, and most of them are pretty easy to change. Somehow, I still don’t end up changing them. Laziness? Probably.
Here are 10 thins I wish I was better at.
I’m terrible at organising things. Some people write to-do lists, or schedule things that they have to get done within a certain time frame. I’m the kind of person who thinks things will just work out somehow. I hate being that way because it causes a lot of stress, but I just can’t help it.
In school, I always left things till the last minute. I don’t do that with work. Funnily enough I’m reasonably organised at work, but when it comes to my personal life, I’m not organised at all. Jeremy is one of the most organised people I’ve met, and I can only imagine the frustration he must feel around me sometimes.
I’m a pretty messy person. For some reason, after I clean something, it only takes a few days before it goes back to what it looked like before I cleaned. I’m the kind of person who will just put something down somewhere with the intention of moving it to its right place later on, but then realise a few weeks later that I forgot.
My makeup bag is a mess, my jewellery is lying around everywhere, I can never find both socks in a pair… And still, I get frustrated with other people that are messy. Maybe they remind me of myself and I’m actually annoyed at myself. Sounds pretty likely.
Saying ‘thank you’ more
I really love the people in my life, and I wish I thanked them more for making me happy. Making someone happy is an incredible thing and shouldn’t be something that just happens and then it’s forgotten about. I’m definitely going to start saying thank you more, even for the smallest things. I know I feel really appreciated when someone thanks me, so I’d love to be able to make others feel that way.
Believing in myself
I doubt myself all the time, no matter what I’m doing. If I’m doing something I’ve been told I’m really good at, I will still worry that I’ll fail or that what I’m doing isn’t good enough. I always stress about what people think about me, even though I often pretend I don’t. Of course I care what people think.
I often find myself not doing certain things because I don’t think it’s worth trying in case I’m not good at it. I’m working really hard on getting over these types of things, but it’s definitely not easy when you’re a naturally anxious person.
Every night, I will put off sleep for as long as I can, and I’m actually really worried about it. Everyone needs sleep, but I often don’t get more than 5-6 hours of sleep per night. No wonder I’m quite grumpy sometimes. It’s just one of those things I can’t seem to change about myself no matter how hard I try.
I don’t feel tired at night, but because I go to bed so late, I feel absolutely exhausted in the mornings. I hate it. In a perfect world, I would go to bed early, get 8 hours of sleep and feel refreshed in the morning. One can always dream. But to dream you need to sleep. Such a vicious circle.
Living in the present
I envy those who can enjoy a moment fully without worrying about anything else. That’s just not how my brain works. No matter how much fun I’m having or how special the moment is, I’ll always think about what could go wrong or what will happen later. The only exception to this that I can think of at the moment was when Jeremy proposed to me in Queenstown. I felt so happy and relaxed that I was just thinking about the two of us there in that moment. I knew it was going to be something I’d remember for the rest of my life.
Jeremy loves being active. I think he gets pretty restless sitting down for more than an hour or two. He will often suggest that we go do something, and those things can often be things that I wouldn’t normally do. I often turn his ideas down, and it’s just because I don’t know if I’ll like it or not. Nine times out of ten when we end up doing the things, I love it.
An example of this was paragliding in Queenstown. I was absolutely terrified and convinced myself that I was only doing it because Jeremy talked me into it, but deep down I knew that I wanted to do it just as much as he did, I was just afraid of taking the risk.
I guess this one is quite similar to the one about living in the present. My mind often drifts off and it’s very hard to stop it. Sometimes I’ll be sitting at work and I’m in the middle of writing an email when I realise I’m thinking of something completely different. Luckily, my brain seems to be able to multi task quite well, because the emails usually come out the way they should.
My problem with concentrating is why I can’t read books. I just can’t focus. Movies are different. I don’t often lose focus while watching movies.
I’m a very awkward person at social events. I get pretty bad anxiety to the point where I sometimes can’t breathe or speak properly. I’ll start stuttering and will feel nauseous. Not a lot of people know this about me, but that’s because I normally have had some form of alcohol when spending time with people.
Alcohol really does change my behaviour and confidence completely. I often try to avoid social situations where I know I can’t have a drink, simply because I don’t think I can handle them. Someone recently asked me what I would do at my wedding. Would I get drunk? My answer was ‘probably’. Part of me wasn’t even kidding.
Waking up in the morning
This obviously has to do with the fact that I don’t sleep much, but I really wish I could wake up one morning without pressing the snooze button 2-5 times. I’ve thought about putting my phone far away from the bed so I have to get up to turn it off, but I actually feel physically sick if I get out of bed before my body has fully woken up. I would rather not feel both exhausted and nauseated first thing in the morning. One of these days I’ll master the art of sleeping.